You are Worthy of Consistent Effort

From the Archives: The Knight of Pentacles

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I read something in A Course in Miracles recently that stopped me in my tracks. Paraphrased in part, it said something like: Our difficulty with changing habits and thus changing our lives is rarely focus or concentration; “it is the belief that no one, including yourself, is worth consistent effort.”

Here is a longer passage for the sticklers slash New Thought-curious among us:Watch your mind for the temptations of the ego, and do not be deceived by it. It offers you nothing. When you have given up this voluntary dis-spiriting, you will see how your mind can focus and rise above fatigue and heal.

… The problem is not one of concentration; it is the belief that no one, including yourself, is worth consistent effort. Side with me consistently against this deception, and do not permit this shabby belief to pull you back. The disheartened are useless…, but only the ego can be disheartened.

Any talk of “consistent effort” and my tarot-fluent brain immediately calls to mind the Knight of Pentacles: our responsible, disciplined Knight, our expert at daily routines and incremental change.

The Knights in tarot are experts in their domain, which is determined by their suit. The Knight of Pentacles, then, is an expert at creating tangible results for material wellbeing. That could be money, as is often the interpretation of the suit of pentacles, but it could also be health, home life, a sense of groundedness or security, training your nervous wreck of a rescue pup to stop pulling on his leash and lunging at the FedEx guy, or anything else we associate with the “earthly” realm.

And the wisdom of the Knight of Pentacles, as conventional or cliche or unsexy as it might be, is that meaningful and sustainable wealth of any kind is achieved gradually through consistent effort and incremental change.

How do we know this?

Because the Knight of Pentacles, at least in the original Rider Waite Smith tarot deck, looks out on his neatly plowed rows of crops - boring, monotonous work that needs to be done regularly and yields absolutely no reward for months at a time. But if you stick to it and trust the process, a bountiful harvest is in store for you!

Or so I’m told.

Another tarot card that is often associated with the slow-moving energy of the Knight of Pentacles is the 7 of Pentacles. In fact, many people even interpret the 7 of Pentacles as “the failure card.” And it makes perfect sense even though, ultimately, IMHO, that’s not actually accurate.

The 7 of Pentacles is about patience. Sowing seeds and trusting in the process. Knowing that we do not plant and harvest in the same season. Watching the gradual progress and flourishing of committed effort.

The only problem is that none of that is glorified in our current society of seven-second attention spans and viral successes. If you aren’t an overnight success these days, it can be so easy to feel like a failure. The 7 of Pentacles captures this cultural phenomenon wonderfully I think.

And even as I sit here and preach the untruth of it all, I get so discouraged so quickly by so many things. I would love a get-rich-quick scheme! Wouldn’t you?

I often chalk my inability to stick with long cons like exercise and daily meditation to my impatience. If I don’t see some kind of progress right away (in other words, if I find myself in this sort of 7 of Pentacles situation that requires this sort of Knight of Pentacles energy), I will stop doing something. I will call it a hoax and move on to something else.

I did yoga twice and nothing happened. Hoax!

I took gummy vitamins three days in a row and nothing happened. Hoax!

I applied retinol to my under-eyes exactly one time and my wrinkles are still there. Hoax!

I’m just too impatient, I resolve, and call it a day.

But this ACIM quote is staring me straight in the face and asking, “Is it impatience? Could it be something else?”

Impatience, like perfectionism, is one of those safe, back-door-brag flaws we all feel pretty comfortable - even proud - claiming for ourselves. One you trot out with a sheepish grin at job interviews.

But is it my impatience that mutters to myself, “Whatever, it’s not like this is gonna make me feel happier or more energized or more beautiful. You swear this is gonna change anything,” and rolls its eyes?

Is it impatience? Could it be something else?

Could impatience just be a cover?

For, I don’t know, fear? Or unworthiness?

When we can’t stick to whatever our current mundane nemesis is (lookin’ at you lemon water and morning walks), does a part of us somewhere deep down in the well of our being not believe we are worth consistent effort?

And couldn’t that lack of self-worth be the “disheartened,” “disspiriting” force, as ACIM calls it, that takes us off the path of our highest selves?

Because if I honestly look back at the various habits and efforts I have been unable to commit to whole-heartedly, I realize a few truths:

First, I certainly have the time. I can make it at the very least for things that are important to me or I believe will pay off.

Second, I have the ability. I mean, if it comes to physical exertion, I am quite – and I mean QUITE – limited in both strength and endurance, especially if it’s warmer than 75 degrees and there is any kind of incline involved. (Don’t believe me? Just ask the Thai chef who had to empty the trash can in his kitchen after I puked in it because some lady wouldn’t get out of the bathroom fast enough and I had just walked slightly up hill in 100-degree weather sipping a frozen margarita waiting for Bright Eyes to take the main stage at a local music festival, or the receptionist at Bar Method who cleaned up my puke - twice! - and offered me a green tea after I stumbled out of the workout room because apparently my body thought a two-minute wall-sit was me pounding at death’s door.) But despite being an almost entirely sedentary book worm who - I promise - has her vomit situation mostly under control, I am physically capable of a lot.

Third, I am one of the smartest and hardest working people I know, which I will happily throw in your face if we are in an argument and you happen to be my husband or my mother.

All of which is to say the phrase “I can’t” just doesn’t make sense for me, or maybe even for you.

And which is also why this worth question is so striking to me.

Do I think I am worth consistent effort? Do I believe I deserve this consistent, disciplined, devoted Knight of Pentacles energy? And if not, why not?

If at this point your jaw has dropped a little and you are thinking, “WTF Annie, I was over here trying to have a nice little Sunday,” I have a peace offering.

It’s a tarot spread.

Take a moment to think of a goal or intention that you have had trouble working toward in the way you would like. Something that you really feel would bring you closer to your best self or an authentic place of joy or fulfillment for you but, nonetheless, you are resisting.

Have it in mind?

When you’re ready, grab your tarot deck and your tarot journal and try this tarot spread.