Infinite Versions of You Exist in the Quantum Field

Or, how the Ace of Pentacles reminds us of our potential

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I wish I played tennis.

My forced summer playing in an Armenian youth basketball league made it abundantly clear that contact sports were not my thing. "Excuse me, ref? This girl will NOT stop following me, like, can you tell her to back the fuck up and give me some room to dribble the ball or what? Like, how am I supposed to do anything? I don’t get it.”

Tennis, on the other hand, would have granted me an entire side of the court, to leap and frolic as I please.

I love the spurts of physicality with tennis. Sure, you need to be in good shape generally to last an entire match, but the mechanics of the game call for quickness and agility and coordination.

And I never enjoyed the tomboy aspect of a lot of women’s sports. For better or worse, I’m pretty feminine. I felt really out of place in my basketball jersey and shorts, for example, and donning a strange costume that made my stance and walk feel uncomfortable certainly didn’t help me get into the game and perform better.

My high school’s tennis uniform, on the other hand, looked remarkably similar to my cheerleading uniform. And I felt really at home in that!

And now, in my older and ridiculously sedentary age, I’m realizing that while I am in desperate need of exercise, I - try as I might - simply cannot bring myself to perform repeated, unnatural motions like push-ups, or spend thirty minutes on an unnatural machine like an elliptical for the sake of fitness. My body craves authentic physical activity, like dancing, hiking, or playing a game (like tennis perhaps!), that is enjoyable and rewarding in its own right but also offers exercise as a healthy byproduct.

Plus, I need to get outside more and see friends more regularly. And it takes two to tennis!

Alas, after this compelling intellectual argument in favor of me picking up tennis, here I am, sitting on the armchair in my reading corner merely writing about it. When it comes down to it, I tell myself I don’t have the time. The tennis buddy. The shoes. Or even a racket. The courts at the park get taken by more serious players anyway. I don’t even know how to hold a racket. What if I twist an ankle? What if I black out because I’m so out of shape and cause a scene with whomever I’m with and then can never hang out with them ever again because I’m the drama queen who ruined a perfectly good Friday morning at the park. The weather’s getting too hot anyway. I should have started months ago. Now I have to wait until the fall at least, when I am not liable to get heatstroke out on a tennis court in the middle of a southern California summer.

Tennis, I’m afraid to say, is not the only thing I do this with.

I also wish I went to movie theaters and restaurants alone.

I wish I woke up with the sun and sat out on the terrace wrapped in a blanket to write my morning pages.

I wish I could walk down the street and through a farmer’s market with sandals on my feet, an iced latte in my hand, and an intimidatingly huge yet unbelievably well trained dog at my side.

I wish I wore unsensible shoes and blouses with pouffy sleeves and statement earrings, even to work.

I wish my nephew hadn’t been inspired to ask, “Why do you say [insert exaggerated old-person groan noise] all the time?”

I wish I could go back to school and get at least half a dozen more degrees: art history, anthropology, psychology, theater, gender studies.

I wish I taught yoga and meditation.

I wish I was as sensual as I am cerebral.

But here’s the thing.

I can choose to be any of those versions of me. None of these transformations would happen overnight, of course, but they are all possible. And accepting that truth is half the battle.

The fact that we can envision and fantasize and dream about these various versions of us is the very proof that they do indeed exist somewhere in whatever model or conception of the universe you ascribe to. Or else we wouldn’t think about them.

Joe Dispenza, the author of books such as Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself and Becoming Supernatural, quoted below, is a major proponent of the idea that there are infinite versions of ourselves in what he refers to as the quantum field of potentiality:

“Everything is actually happening in an eternal present moment. In this infinite amount of time there exist infinite spaces, dimensions, or possible realities to experience.

…

And each one of those limitless possibilities already [exist]. I knew that by putting my attention on any one of these possibilities, I would actually experience that reality.”

If thoughts of time loops and alternate dimensions make you as dizzy as they make me, I’ve heard a radio analogy that I find easier to grasp.

Each radio station broadcasts at a specific frequency. If we want to tune in to a specific radio station, what do we do? We turn our radio dial to match that station’s specific frequency. And if we don’t like what we get, we are free to keep tuning until we find a frequency we like. Dispenza argues that our reality works in much the same way.

In quantum theory speak, we trade in radio frequencies for electromagnetic frequencies that every person emits and that look for matching frequencies to bring certain things - opportunities, people, experiences - into our lives. Our thoughts and emotions are what create our unique electromagnetic signature, Dispenza contends. So, if we seem to be attracting things we don’t want, or not attracting the things we do want, we need to change our thoughts - and, in turn, the resulting emotions and behaviors we engage in - so that we emit a different electromagnetic signature and start attracting different things.

That’s what Dispenza means by “putting [our] attention on any one of these possibilities” - these opportunities, potentialities, and different versions of us.

Necessary disclaimer: While rampant criticism by academics and scientists of more mystical self-help types is nothing new, Dispenza presents an interesting case because he spends so much of his time trying to prove the science behind his theories. And despite his efforts, I’m still not sure that his quantum theory is scientifically sound. The number of physicists having aneurysms on Reddit over his work seem to indicate otherwise. “He’s not even a physicist! He’s a chiropractor LOL! His books read like a bunch of word salad to anyone trained in quantum theory!”

But honestly, I mostly skim his descriptions of double- and triple-blind studies and the brain scans that were done on study participants and all that. And I approach a lot of what is often called pseudoscience in the same way I approach mythology, arguably the first pseudoscience. One of the first things I tell my students is that we are not here to argue over the veracity of the myths we read. Mythology is not concerned with whether these stories are literally true. (A talking raven who carried the sun in its beak and placed it up in the sky to light up the world? A woman who sprung, fully formed, from the forehead of her father? Come on now.) We are trained to analyze the stories as poetry and metaphor and find the meaning and value behind the theories and beliefs expressed in them. So to me, in much the same way, if we can glean something helpful from the quantum theory of manifestation even while acknowledging its scientific flaws, it may serve an important purpose nonetheless.

After days of reading about electromagnetic fields and alternate timelines and vibrating at a higher frequency, I drew the Ace of Pentacles in a tarot reading for myself.

Aces are traditionally interpreted as opportunities, new beginnings, possibilities, and potential. And the suit of Pentacles is traditionally interpreted to represent tangible things like health, wealth, and our physical environment. In other words, materiality. When we put number and suit together, as we do when interpreting Minor Arcana cards, the Ace of Pentacles is usually interpreted as heralding a new career or health journey or the emergence of an opportunity that can potentially bring financial or other material abundance to our lives.

But in this moment, I couldn’t help but view this tarot card through a quantum lens.

The greenery and shrubbery in the bottom half of this tarot card, at least in the Rider Waite Smith version, pretty clearly represent our tangible, material world. This Ace firmly plants us (no pun intended) in the earthly realm of its suit, the Pentacles.

Rising above what we perceive as our real world, however, is the rest of this tarot card. The nondescript, almost phantasmic hand floating in the sky seems to represent what Dispenza and his quantum manifestor colleagues would call the quantum field - the Universe of infinite potential and alternate realities that surround us everywhere we go.

The Ace of Pentacles seemed to show up to offer a tarot-friendly version of this manifesting paradigm I was reading about - a reminder that above and beyond our world as we currently know it float endless possibilities and potentialities for our lives, being offered up for the taking as soon as we are open and ready for them.

Perhaps this Ace showed up to remind me of the infinite versions of me that exist in the quantum field, and that it may be time for me to change my frequency: my thoughts, my perspective, my mindset, my limiting beliefs, my excuses.

Maybe this pentacle represents a version of me who has her anxiety under control.

Maybe this pentacle represents a version of me who can finally commit to yoga three times a week.

Maybe this pentacle represents a version of me who is a New York Times bestselling author.

Maybe this pentacle represents a version of me who plays tennis.

What’s something you find yourself wishing for these days?

If you had to take just one small step toward making that potential version of you a reality, what could you do?

If you need some more prompting or inspiration, below is my Quantum Leap Tarot Spread, inspired by today’s musings and the Ace of Pentacles.